The Price of Fame
by purplesparkleypanda
Summary: Jenna moves to New York City after getting a part in a new Teen Disney movie-musical. She befriends her snarky co-star, Crystal, which causes her new-found fame get to her head. She becomes one of the world's top superstars overnight, but at the pricey cost of all her friends and the life she used to love. Can a production intern save her from herself? Slightly AU
1. Chapter 1

**Jenna centric, setting kind of AU**

Becoming famous was never a 'what if' or a 'maybe if', it was always a 'when I'.

The only time I ever doubted my doors to fame, was when I was voted off _Next Teen Star_. I had thought that the show would bring me some attention, but I guess no one wanted to sign a recording artist that glorified teen pregnancy at the time. Since then, I practiced; singing whenever I could, and picking up my guitar every chance I got.

And I almost _almost_ doubted my dreams entirely until the day I got a phone call that changed my life, someone had seen me on _Next Teen Star_ last year, and invited me out for an audition in the United States for a part in a movie over the summer. The last actress they hired had suddenly dropped out.

Flash-forward just one week, and there I was, standing awkwardly in front of the rusty old door, to the apartment in New York City that I would be staying in if I got the job.

My heart seemed to skip a beat. I was really here, and had the opportunity to live my dreams.

I set down my suitcases and my guitar, and my hand shook as I stuck the key in the door. It creaked as it opened, and I immediately smelled the must of an old apartment. A little old and outdated, but still chic and useable, it was _mine,_ paid for by the casting company while I was there. So perfect to me, so low maintenance, so…

Jenna.

* * *

The movie was focused on a performing arts school, and I was to play one of the main character's friends. A lot of my scenes included singing, so most of my audition material was singing as well. The movie was for the new "Teen Disney" channel, and it would be the first made-for-TV movie they would premiere.

"I don't want her for the movie," I heard the casting director saying behind me as I walked out of the room after my performance.

My heart sank.

I blew it.

"I NEED her for the movie!" he exclaimed as I spun around in surprise, "Jenna Middleton, you are going to be BIG, I can see it now!"

All the other important casting people looked around, nodding their heads, and I almost dropped my guitar.

"We start filming two days from now," the director said, handing me a packet of information with my script, "there's a photo-shoot tonight, and a table read tomorrow."

I couldn't even believe what I was hearing.

I had done it.

I was going to be a star!

"I told like everyone I know from Degrassi after I got your text," Ali said excitedly, "you're going to be like Hannah Montana or something."

"I can't even believe it, I'm shaking Ali," I practically yelled into the phone, "I have a photo-shoot tonight for the promo posters, and a table read tomorrow."

"Jenna, I am beyond happy for you! I can't believe one of my best friends is going to be a star!"

"Thanks girl, but I have to go, hair and make-up!" I squeaked, loving the sound of it.

I hung up the phone and sat down in the make-up chair and another girl about my age walked into the room. A swarm of people crowded around her, asking her things, and fixing her hair as she walked.

"Who's that?" I asked my stylist as she started applying my foundation.

"Crystal Matthews," she answered, starting to apply some powder, "her dad is really rich, that's how she got discovered. They are saying she's going to be the next Hannah Montana."

My hopes diminished a little.

* * *

They had curled my hair for the photo-shoot, and I looked totally hot. I got to wear a gold sequin dress, the one that my character, Char, wears in the final scene of the movie.

I walked onto set and approached Crystal, who was playing the star of the movie, Meggie.

"Hi, I'm Jenna," I said, smiling and reaching my hand out.

Crystal glared at me, grabbed my hand, and inspected my nails.

"Girl, if we are going to be fake friends, you have GOT to get a manicure," she said, disgusted.

I snatched my hand back, "fake friends?"

She threw back her straight brown hair and smirked, "in order for this movie to be successful, we have to be best friends in the press… everyone knows that, duh. So just smile and look cute Jenna, and I'll make you look even better."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me in front of the photographer.

"Smile Jenna!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around me. I was flabbergasted by her re-mark, but I made a big fake smile anyway.

Maybe Crystal and I could be real friends?

Not a chance.

* * *

I walked into the table read the next day, dressed in what I thought was a cute outfit. I had on my favorite Lucky Brand Jeans, and an off-the-shoulder top. My hair was up in a messy but cute ponytail, and I was wearing a little extra make-up than usual.

"J, what if TMZ had photographed you coming in here, we really need to talk about your style," Crystal decided, almost immediately linking arms with me as I came through the door, "oh and by the way, you are to call me 'Crys' and you're going to be J. Our like BFF names for each other!"

She smiled on cue as a reporter took our picture.

I held back the impulse to roll my eyes.

I felt so out of place in the studio. I had obviously had minimal experience acting, and I had never performed singing somewhere of such high caliber. As nervous as I was, the table read went okay, the movie was actually really well-written, and I knew it was going to be a hit.

We had a break, so I decided to call Ali, and give her an update.

"Just go along with it," she said, as I explained to her the Crystal situation, "obviously she knows a lot about the high-profile lifestyle."

"I just don't like being a 'fake' anything Ali," I told her, "I guess maybe I SHOULD change my style up a little, I mean Canadian fashion is a lot different than it is here in New York City. It's one of the style CAPITALS of the world practically."

"Sorry, I have to go Jenna, but call me later," she said, "I miss you!"

"Miss you too," I replied, hanging up.

"Why do you look familiar?" a voice asked, startling me.

I jumped, "What the hell? Do you mind?"

"I don't normally hang around in dark back parts of studios, but I followed you to talk to you because I thought you looked familiar."

He started walking toward me, and I could see it was a young guy, a few years older than me.

"Why are you creeping around back here anyway?" I asked, squinting in his direction.

He did look familiar.

"Well I'm actually an intern here, through Yale for the summer with this production company," he explained, "I'm hoping to become a producer or director someday."

There was an awkward silence.

"I'm glad you don't condone being fake," he suddenly said, "I hate that in a woman."

Then I realized what a small world this really was.

"Did you… go to DEGRASSI?" I asked.

He laughed, holding out his hand.

I stared back into a pair of the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.

"I did, but I'm not sure if we ever actually met. I'm Declan, Declan Coyne. Maybe you know my sister Fiona?"

"J LOVE!" I heard Crystal yell, as she walked up to us in the corner, "MUST you hide in the corner, we need you for an interview!"

I stared back at Declan as she pulled my arm. We kept eye contact for a moment, and he smirked.

"I don't think you should talk to him," Crystal whispered.

"Why not?" I asked, almost demandingly.

"Because you can date CELEBRITIES now, I mean seriously. I heard Jesse McCartney is single," she giggled, "don't waste your time with peons. Besides, my dad said he's a Coyne, and I heard his family went totally bankrupt and stole some money or something."

I wondered if that were true.

But still, I had felt a spark with Declan, unlike any other one I've felt before.

I guess I would have to wait and see what happens.

**That's chapter one. Thank you for reading. I have big plans for this story, all about Jenna's rise to fame! **


	2. Chapter 2

**So I'll admit that I almost gave up on this story because almost no one read it, but I decided that I like it, and I'll finish it for myself if I have to! I feel like in Degrassi section, most people are looking for the latest stories featuring the most popular 'current' couples, and not any of the 'old' characters. I prefer both! **

I got up the next day, practically rolling out of bed, and stared at my closet. Crystal's voice rang through my head.

"_J, what if TMZ had photographed you coming in here, we really need to talk about your style,"_

In a strange way, I supposed that she was right. I was going to be famous, A-list probably, and I needed to dress accordingly. I yanked on my favorite skinny jeans . . . ugh, maybe I had gained a few pounds. I mentally decided to skip a few meals today. I dug through my closet and came across a shirt I had bought last year, a crop-top that Mrs. Bandarhi had deemed too inappropriate. I matched the top to the hot pink heels I had worn to homecoming last year.

After caking on some extra make-up and making sure my hair was pin-straight, I was ready to go. I stared back at my reflection in the mirror, and actually liked what I saw.

Now this was more like a superstar.

I strutted into the studio that day, aware of a lot of eyes on me. I spotted Crystal getting ready to go into hair and make-up.

"Crys!" I exclaimed, shuffling up to her side.

"Hey J!" she squealed, throwing her arms around me, "ready for our first day? And can I just say that you look awesome, that's what I was talking about."

I did a spin with a big smile. I felt so much better being this flashy person. This was who I was supposed to be, after-all, I did belong to the Hollywood elite now. I was just starting to believe that.

Crys was whisked away by her assistant, and started toward the cafeteria for a bottle of water. I looked down at my iphone, seeing if I had any texts from Ali or Clare yet. I guess I should have been paying more attention, because my heel got caught up in one of the cords running along the floor. My phone flew out of my hand, crashing to the ground and I felt like I was in slow motion, losing my breath as my feet flew out from under me. I felt an arm grasp under my waist, and I was relieved.

"Watch where you're stepping Princess," Declan said, as he lifted me back up.

"Princess?" I asked, standing up and pulling down my shirt.

I didn't like his sarcasm.

"Well, isn't that who you think you, coming in all hot and wearing those heels today?" he smirked, "looks like you need more practice."

I rolled my eyes. Who did this guy think he was anyway?

"I think you need more practice being less condescending to girls," I decided, proud of using such a big word.

He just kind of laughed, I picked up my phone, hoping it wasn't cracked, and continued on my way.

Until his voice stopped me.

"That's not who you are, is it?" he said, "You're not like those other famous types."

I turned around, a more serious look across his face.

I hesitated, but didn't say anything. Declan was totally the type of guy I would have gone for, and probably gotten, back at Degrassi. So what if he maybe knew some of the same people as me, and so what if he was maybe right. I needed to embrace my new found fame, and take on the life I deserve.

I didn't need people like Declan Coyne holding me back.

* * *

Shooting for the movie commenced, and wrapped up just within a few weeks. I had gotten to record on the soundtrack, and the production company had begun planning a short musical tour for the cast in the week following the premiere. Crystal and I had become real life best friends, and I was defiantly starting to live the A-List life.

Ali was coming to visit me for the weekend, and I was so excited for her to see my new celebrity life. She was coming the day the movie was showing on Teen Disney, and we were going to a viewing party for the entire cast.

I waited for Ali at the airport. I hadn't seen her in almost a month, and that was a long time for us. We had become like sisters the last few years, so she was more than a best friend for me. I imagined my life would change when the movie came out, there was so much hype around it, and I was already getting recognized on the streets of New York. I was so ready for this lifestyle, but there would always be a place for Ali in my life.

"Jenna!" she yelled, coming through the door at the airport.

I gave her a big hug.

"I missed you Ali!"

"You look so different," she decided, checking out my outfit.

My style had changed defiantly for the better in the last month. From Crystal and my frequent shopping sprees downtown, I had acquired an entirely new wardrobe. Today I was wearing a pair of short jean shorts, with lace fishnet tights underneath. I had on my favorite ankle cowboy boots, and a black tank top with a short studded blazer over the top.

"I have to blend in with New York City style!" I laughed.

Ali was wearing a pair of blue jeans, a green MIT hoodie, and a pair of green flats. I supposed you didn't really need to be in fashion on a plane.

We walked arm-in-arm out of the airport, and the limo I had arranged for us was waiting outside. Ali looked star-struck as I told her it was for us.

"I hope you brought something totally hot to wear to the premiere party tonight," I said, "You are just going to love my friend Crystal, I told her all about you."

She smiled, "I'm so happy for you Jenna, you're really living your dream. Did I tell you about the party at Degrassi tonight?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"They are having a party for you. Connor is getting the movie to stream from here in America on a big screen, and everyone's going to watch it. There are so many people going!"

I was so excited. Even everyone back at home was going to see the star I had become! All the people that didn't believe in me, it didn't matter anymore, I had really showed them I could do it!

"OH MY GOSH!" Ali shrieked, pointing out the window, "Is that you on that BILLBOARD?"

I laughed, "Yeah those were the pictures we took before we shot the movie.

I loved the pictures they used on the billboard. It was a big shot of Crystal and I with stars in our eyes, and the entire cast was pictured smaller in the corner. This really was an amazing life to live!

* * *

As soon as we got back to my apartment, Ali and I started to get ready for the party, talking and catching up as we did. I tried to talk Ali into borrowing one of my new dresses, but she insisted that she was happy with the short black one she brought, and that I should stand out more than her anyway. I wasn't complaining, because I guess she was right. I was one of the stars tonight.

I had on the purple sequin gown Crystal and I had chosen the day before. She was going to be wearing a similar one in hot pink.

The party was held at a house the director had rented. It was a huge and stereotypical mansion, all white with high doors, and fountain in the front. We had to drive awhile to get there, but I was totally excited to be going to my first cast party.

Ali stood really close to me as I walked through the party, greeting all of the people I had met on the set of the movie. The people I was most interested in meeting tonight was all of the important record company executives, and casting directors that they had arranged to be there and see us.

"JJ!"

I turned around, and there was Crystal in her similar dress, all smiles and ready for the party as well.

"Crys! I want you to meet my best friend from home, Ali," I said, nodding in her direction.

"So nice to meet you," Ali said, holding out her hand, "Jenna talks about you all the time and-"

"Yes, yes, let's get a drink Jenna!" she exclaimed, grabbing my hand.

Ali reluctantly followed.

I was able to talk to her a little later. She was sipping on a red drink of some kind, and nervously watching all of the people.

"Don't mind Crys," I explained to her, "she's kind of like that with all new people."

"I'm feeling a little out of place," she told me.

"Oh, you will get used to it!" I assured her, "there will totally be more parties like this in the NEAR future and I can totally get you in."

She smiled uneasily.

"Wait," she said, "isn't that Declan Coyne over there?"

I rolled my eyes, "yeah he's interning as a producer this summer. He would always stare at me during production."

"Maybe it was because he was producing…" she suggested.

Whatever. I didn't want to talk about Declan right now. The movie was going to start, and we were all starting to make our way down to the basement where there was a large home theatre. I lost sight of Ali in the crowd, and then I ran into Crystal again.

"J, over here!" she motioned behind a wall.

I walked over to her, wondering what she was doing.

"Come on!' she said, pulling me down a long hallway.

We went into a room, a lounge perhaps, and there were a few other people in there just talking and laughing. People I didn't recognized.

"What are we doing?"

She laughed, "These are some of my friends I met through my dad's company. Totally A-List."

After she mentioned it, I did recognize one of the guys from an American TV show I had seen, and a girl from a movie Ali and I had watched last year. Ali.

"I should probably find Ali!" I exclaimed, starting to walk out the door, "we are going to miss the movie."

"J, you don't NEED Ali anymore," she said, "She's just holding you back to your non-famous life. You have me now, and A-List friends."

I thought about it, and I guess she was right. I mean, if Ali could hang out with all these famous people, she would probably do that too. I looked down at my phone. Three missed calls from Ali. I turned it off.

This was my life now. I smiled and went to sit by two cute guys I saw talking. I had gotten confident, and this was getting easier. I didn't care that I hadn't talked to any of the casting directors, or record executives. I didn't care where Ali was, or about my career. I was confident I could book jobs without even talking to any of them.

The drinks in Crystal's side room were defiantly alcoholic. Over the next few hours I had given out my phone number twice, and the last thing I remembered was making-out with a guy that looked like Justin Beiber in the corner.

And then I woke up. I was in a bed, in some apartment, and I was wearing a big guys t-shirt.

What did I do last night?


	3. Chapter 3

"Holy crap, where am I!?" I yelled, looking around the room.

It was a boy's room probably, a lot of darker dull colors, and the smell of Axe deodorant penetrated the room. I was starting to feel sick, probably a hangover from the alcohol last night. Fear swept through me, I was in a stranger's apartment.

"You're finally up," Declan said, walking into the room.

I sat there stupidly on the bed with my mouth hanging open as he handed me a glass of water.

"You're probably going to need that," he said, smirking and making that face he always did.

I was confused.

"Um, what am I doing here?" I asked, sipping the water.

He laughed, "You don't remember?"

"Well, no, I don't . . ." then I panicked, "We didn't SLEEP together, did we? Oh my God…"

He laughed again, "No Jenna, I'm not that kind of guy."

This time relief swept through me.

"I found you stumbling around at the premiere last night. Mostly everyone was gone, and I didn't know where you lived, so I just brought you here," he said, "I hope you don't mind, I was just worried about you, and I couldn't leave you."

Why was Declan acting so nice? I know that the first day we met, we had a little connection, but Crystal had warned me about him. Plus, he always had such a pompous attitude.

"Well, thanks I guess," I said, "but I totally lost track of Ali last night, so I should be going . . .wait, how did I get in this t-shirt?"

He smiled, "Don't worry Jenna, I didn't do it. Your phone was ringing non-stop when I got you back here, and I talked to Ali. She's here too."

Ali was here! So maybe she didn't totally hate me. As if on cue, she walked into the room. She looked upset, she had her arms crossed and an angry look on her face.

Declan sensed the tension and left the room, leaving us staring at each other.

"I'm going back home Jenna," she said, "You left me alone, and I was _terrified _something happened to you. I can't deal with this person you are becoming."

"Ali I'm sorry I just-"

"You just nothing Jenna, you have your famous friends, and your high-profile lifestyle now, and I just don't want to be a part of watching you spiral off track. You are not the down-to-earth, girl-next-door Jenna that was my best friend anymore."

I looked down, maybe she was right. How was she going to handle me being famous, when she was just a regular girl?

I started to feel sick, I stood up really fast, and ran into the hallway where I saw the bathroom. I knew I was going to throw up. I felt someone behind me pull back my hair, and pat my back. It smelled like Axe deodorant. Declan.

When I was done throwing up, he handed me another glass of water that I gulped quickly, trying to get the horrible taste out of my mouth. I felt miserable. I stayed sitting on the bathroom floor, Declan was just sitting behind me, holding me I guess, and it was comforting.

* * *

Ali left an hour later. She had brought all her luggage to Declan's, and booked a flight back home the night before. She didn't say good-bye to me, but I heard her tell Declan thank you for taking care of me, and to keep an eye on me. After laying in bed for awhile, I was feeling a lot better. I knew I should be leaving soon, and that I should see what Crystal was up to.

The practice day for the tour was tomorrow, then the next day it started, and I needed to get ready.

Declan walked in the room, smiling at me.

"I think Ali will come around," he said, "she's just worried about you."

"I didn't ask for your opinion," I told him, "and maybe I don't WANT to be friends with Ali anymore."

His smile turned to a frown, "Are you going to start with this diva attitude again?"

I was furious.

"Just because you helped me, doesn't mean I suddenly LIKE you," I said, "you're the one with the attitude all the time. Thanks for helping me, I guess, but I'm not sure why you did. I can take care of myself."

He had a look of hurt all over his face. I knew I was being harsh, but who did he think he was anyway?"

I got up to leave, realizing the only clothing I had was the t-shirt he put on me, and his sweatpants. I would not be wearing the same dress that I had worn the night before, out in the afternoon.

I made my way to the door, ready to catch a cab. This would have to do, I guess.

* * *

"Girl, where have you been? I've been trying to call you," Crystal said the next day at tour rehearsal.

She actually looked a little nervous. We were putting on make-up in one of the dressing rooms at the studio.

"What's wrong," I asked, pulling my hair up into a pony-tail for the dance practice, "I left my phone somewhere."

Declan's house.

"Well, on the bright-side, I'm getting noticed EVERYWHERE," she smiled.

"I haven't really been out anywhere, so no one has recognized me," I said, kind of disappointed.

I would have to go out downtown later, maybe.

"But J, have you seen 'US Weekly' today?" she asked, handing me a copy, "You made the cover."

I looked at the magazine. There were two pictures, the first one of me and Declan the night of the party where he was helping me into my apartment complex. The second, a horrible shot of me leaving in his clothes.

"Oh God . . ." I just said, my heart dropped in my chest.

There was a whole article about Declan and his family scandal, and about our supposed 'romance' off of the set of the movie we worked on together.

"I suppose that any publicity is good publicity right?" I asked.

Crystal thought for a moment, her face lit up, "You're… right! People could think you're dating that Declan creep, but you are famous enough now to get noticed in 'US Weekly', and that's awesome!"

We both laughed. I had practically become a celebrity over-night, and I was so excited.

* * *

He found me later when I was going to leave practice.

"Did you see it?" he asked, walking up behind me.

"The article, yeah," I said, and kept walking.

"Can you just stop and talk to me?" he demanded, "Everyone thinks we are dating now anyway, so I think it's okay for us to talk."

I stopped. He was standing next to me, and he smelled like his house, like a really good smelling boy. I remembered how he held me when I was sick, and how comforted I was. I looked up at him, and remembered how attractive he was, and how sweet he had been.

But I could not fall for him, not when my whole career was ahead of me.

"Yes?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"Jenna, I know you aren't this spoiled diva you are acting like you are," he said, "I might come off as pompous or whatever sometimes, but I'm really a nice guy. I guess maybe I went too far bringing you to my house, but I just didn't want anything to happen to you."

He hesitated and finished, "Since I saw you here, acting and singing for the movie, I just can't stop thinking about you. I think I really like you Jenna, and I think you like me too."

I looked down, embarrassed. He was being so sweet, and nice. But this couldn't happen.

"I don't know where you got that idea," I said, "You barely know me. I'm on the road to fame, and I don't need to be bothered by a producer wanna-be like you. Besides, didn't your family steal money or something? I don't date thieves."

His eyes looked hurt, as he looked down, not saying another word.

With that, I turned and left, thinking I had finally gotten him off my back.

So why did I feel so bad about it?


	4. Chapter 4

We were traveling on a tour bus. In my days at Degrassi, I would dream of traveling on a tour bus, and singing for crowds every night, but now they just seemed so overrated. A lot of my other cast-mates kind of bothered me, and it smelled like fuel and sweat.

Good thing this tour was only about a week.

Our first stop was in Miami, and Crystal and I were totally excited to hang out at the beach. I guess she also had some friends that lived there near her dad's vacation home.

The Teen Disney producers were also producing the tour, so yippee, Declan was still going to be around. I hadn't talked to him since our argument the day before, and I was planning on keeping it that way. I had already been featured on E!News, and a few other programs with the Declan story. The movie had taken off, and they were already talking about doing a sequel. I had almost gotten attacked by little girls at the grocery store the night before, and I had gotten asked for my autograph about ten times.

It was only going to get better from here.

* * *

Florida was sunny and beautiful. I had never been able to wear a lot of the clothes they wore here in the summer, because it was mostly cold in Canada. Today I was walking around in just a bikini top and jean shorts. Crystal had on a similar outfit, and we were sitting in the sun at her private beach. We decided to keep it low key in the Miami area with our concert tonight. We were sitting back with our big sunglasses, randomly making jokes and laughing, when her friends finally made it.

"J! I'm so excited for you to meet my friends!" she exclaimed, as they walked up the beach.

There was one friend that was a girl, Lacy, and she was really pretty with short red hair. Her boyfriend was Jonathan, a muscular blonde, and the other guy was Garrett, a tall brown-haired guy.

A cute tall brown-haired guy.

I could have sworn he winked at me when she introduced us, but I wasn't sure.

I kicked up sand under my feet. It was such a great day.

"So you guys are performing tonight?" Lacy asked, Jonathan's arm was thrown over her shoulders as we walked back to the beach house.

"Yeah, at the amphitheater!" I replied, "Our first show, I'm actually totally nervous!"

We sat down at Crystal's patio table outside her house.

"Good thing we brought something to take off the edge," Garrett said, reaching into his pocket, and pulling out two bags.

I got nervous. I had never really SEEN drugs before, but I knew enough about them to know what it was.

Jonathan took the bag and opened it, spilling a little powder on the table.

"You look nervous J, don't be," Garrett said, putting his arm around me, "I won't let anything happen to you."

I smiled. I believed him. And he was totally hot.

* * *

I was guessing the effects of the drugs were worse for me, because it was my first time. Crys was helping Lacy decide on an outfit for the concert, and Jonathan seemed totally zoned out in an armchair, watching TV.

I was feeling really loopy, but that didn't stop me from making-out with Garrett on the couch in another room. I couldn't keep my thoughts straight, but it felt so amazing. I had made-out with a guy at the party a few days before, but nothing like this for a long, long time. I felt his hands brushing over my stomach, and moving lower with every minute that passed. I felt his hands un-buttoning my shorts, and I didn't stop him.

"J! Where are you-woah, sorry," Crystal giggled, walking into the room we were in.

I stood up, quickly re-buttoning my shorts.

"It's almost time to go," she said, smirking at me, "unless you're too busy."

I laughed, "No, got to work of course."

That sounded lame. I couldn't be lame in front of my new cool friends.

I started to follow Crystal out the door, but I could barely walk.

"I'll help you," Garrett said, steadying me as we walked out together, adding, "we can finish this later."

His breath in my ear ran shivers down my spine, and I couldn't wait until later. I just wished I could think straight, because sound check was in an hour and the show in just three. I hoped I would feel normal by then, but I kind of liked how light-headed I felt then.

* * *

I couldn't stop laughing when we got there, no matter how hard I tried. Crys's friends were going to meet us afterwards, so she had lead me into the theater for sound check. She had taken the drugs too, but obviously not as much as I did, because she was able to contain herself at least.

"Jenna, could you please stop laughing?" the choreographer asked, before starting the music for our opening number.

I couldn't stop. Everything seemed to be spinning, and everything seemed to be so funny. The rest of the cast minus Crystal were staring at me impatiently, or rolling their eyes.

And that was the last thing I remembered before I blacked out.

* * *

"I'm sure she's just tired," Crystal said, as I started to wake up.

I was in their first-aid room or something I was guessing, because I was laying in a bed.

"She looked like she was on something," the director's voice said, "the show starts in ten minutes, and we are going to have to use our stand-in for Jenna's part, Char, tonight."

"I'm . . . I'm up, I can do it," I assured them, starting to stand up, and completely falling off the bed.

Crys came and helped me up. She looked amazing in her costume, with her stage make-up. They couldn't replace me, I wanted to be like her, ready to go out to perform.

"Jenna, since this is show business, I didn't call the police, but we could tell you were either intoxicated or on some kind of drugs," the director said, "I had our medic check you out, and we just let you sleep it off, but I'm not sure that I can tolerate a situation like this again."

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again," I assured him, "just let me perform tonight, it's our first show."

"Well, I'm not going to fire you this time, but we are using our stand in Char tonight," he explained, "we need to finish this tour, and there's even a possible sequel in the works, and you absolutely cannot pull something like this again, otherwise you can kiss your career goodbye."

His last sentence really hit me. I needed to straighten up, or I at least needed to figure out how to hide drug usage and fitting in with the crowd like Crystal did.

"I can't believe you're missing our first sold out show," Crystal said, giving me a hug and starting for the door.

"Break a leg," I said sadly, standing up to get ready to watch from the sidelines. Strange as it was at the time, I didn't regret a thing I had done that day.

Not a single thing.

* * *

I watched the show from backstage, wishing I could be out there, but I did have a horrible headache, and all of the loud music was making it worse.

"I thought you would be back here," a voice said, Garrett.

I smiled, "Yeah, I guess there's always next time. How did you get back here anyway?"

"My dad, he's a record producer so I know some of the staff at this theatre," he explained, "Want to get out of here?"

"Well I was going to wait for Crys to actually leave, but my dressing room is empty," I said, grabbing his outstretched hand.

His dad was a record producer, so this was more of my type of boyfriend. He defiantly seemed interested in me. We got to my dressing room, and immediately got down to business, my headache quickly forgotten as he kissed my neck and every exposed part of my chest. I let him remove my shirt. He was so amazing, and I wasn't sure if I had ever been with a guy this attractive.

We were lost in our own world when we were suddenly interrupted. Again.

"Jenna, are you in here?" a male voice asked, opening the door quickly.

I froze. I was in an awkward position, shirtless on top of Garrett, and Declan just stared at us with his mouth open.

"Um, I'm sorry Jenna, but they told me to find you," he said, "it's bad."

"What's going on?" I asked, standing up, and quickly grabbing my shirt.

"There are a lot of reporters outside looking for you," he explained, "more pictures leaked to the press."

My heart dropped.

"What pictures?"

"Um . . . from the beach, I think from earlier today . . ."

Oh God. Someone got picture of me getting high. I could get kicked off the tour. I could lose the sequel.

"Oh my gosh! This is bad . . ." I said, starting to panic, "what do I do?"

"They were going to try to get you out a back door," Declan explained, "There's a big scene going on out front. They heard you weren't performing tonight and everything, but they know you're here. There are enraged parents demanding the movie out of rotation on Teen Disney because kids are starting to idolize you, and they don't like the example you're setting. There are reporters, TMZ, paparazzi . . ."

I was rushed out the back door, into a car, and people were yelling to talk to me, mostly reporters, and there were bright flashes all around me. Garrett decided to stay so they wouldn't associate him with the situation, and I didn't really blame him. Declan went with me, we were supposed to go back to the hotel and immediately meet with the director and main producer.

I couldn't look up the pictures because I still didn't have my phone back, but that would be an argument for another day. I hoped they weren't too horrible, but if I was being singled out, then I guess Crystal and the others weren't in any of the photos.

I felt like my career was beginning at age eighteen, and ending at age eighteen, like it was just gone in a flash. How could I really be so careless? I hadn't even felt bad earlier, but now I just felt terrible. No wonder all those parents wanted me off Teen Disney, I was being a terrible role model.

I felt embarrassed as well, almost as if I had let Declan down, which was strange. I felt like he had this idolized image of me as well, and I had completely broken that. It was pretty stupid to almost hook-up with a guy I barely knew and just met, and then he had to see it, knowing how he felt about me just the day before. He didn't say anything to me, or even look at me for that matter, for the whole car ride back to the hotel.


	5. Chapter 5

"We're getting calls left and right, Jenna," one of the producers was explaining, "Teen Disney doesn't want to hire you for anymore shows or movies, they are done."

My heart sank. It really was over.

"But . . . people are calling us with offers for other stations," he said, "MTV, E! Entertainment, everything. They want you in movies, reality shows, tv dramas, and even a recording company called us asking for you."

My mind couldn't wrap around what was really happening. It was a _good_ thing?

"But how… what do I do?" I asked, barely able to speak, and kind of excited.

Declan was next to me, rolling his eyes.

"Hollywood loves scandal, and even if people are talking bad of you now, they are still talking about you. They all want to be your first interview, or your next project, anything," the producer explained, "We aren't happy that the higher-ups for Teen Disney are firing you, but we are happy for you to continue your career. I asked a talent manager to come by tomorrow, and if you would like she can represent you and help you sort through all of the offers."

This meeting didn't go anything like I thought it would. Who knew the whole world seeing a Disney star doing drugs would actually launch my career? I thought they would be shipping me on the next plane back to Canada.

"Of course I'll talk with the manager, I just don't know what to say right now," I said, "What about finishing the tour?"

"Since it's a short tour with only three more shows left, the company would like you to finish out that part of your contract. The shows that weren't sold-out have now sold out, probably with people's expectations of seeing you."

So I would finish the tour, then I could do another movie. Or a TV Show. Or record an album.

Were all my dreams really coming true? I had really made the best mistake of my life.

"Now go get some rest, we are traveling to Texas tomorrow. There will be a bodyguard watching your room, but I was hoping Declan could still keep an eye on you."

He nodded his head in agreement, and smirked at me, obviously not excited about what his boss was asking him to do. He looked at his watch, and went to check in to a room. I just awkwardly walked behind him and followed.

* * *

"It must be nice to do stupid things and get famous for it," Declan said as we walked into the room.

"You're just jealous people don't want you to be their producer or something," I said, "you're just jealous you're not going to be famous like I am."

It was totally true, had to be.

"Whatever," he said, throwing his bag on a bed and opening it.

I rolled my eyes. I felt kind of bad being rude to him, but he was such a huge jerk sometimes. I would just have to think about all the amazing opportunities that are coming my way and ignore him. I was thankful to not have to be in the bus with the others. Crys would be wondering what was going on.

"I guess thanks for helping me back at the concert," I said, feeling somewhat bad, "and I'm sorry you walked in on that."

He just looked at me, not angrily, not mad, he just looked sad, "It's fine, I just thought you were different than that, but now I see who you really are and I can move on. So thank you too."

"What do you mean by that?" I demanded.

"Jenna, I already told you I really liked you, but I think I was just blinded by the person I thought you were. I thought you were nice and down to earth, but you're really just like that girl Crystal, and I don't think you are ever going to change back. I thought we could at least be friends, but I don't really want to have anything to do with you, and now you won't _have_ to have anything to do with me. I'm going back to Yale tomorrow, my internship is over."

With that, he walked into the bathroom, leaving me standing there, feeling horrible. I didn't think Declan was a horrible person; he had my back so many times through this crazy journey to fame. He seemed smug, but he was a nice guy. I just couldn't let myself be involved with someone who could hold me back from my career.

I changed, got into the bed that Declan's stuff hadn't claimed, and turned out the light. I felt like my dreams were coming true, but I also felt like my life was spiraling out of control. I wished I could call Ali, but she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I felt so alone, and so far away from the life that I knew just a few months ago. Sure, I had Crystal as my new friend, but it wasn't like the friends I used to be surrounded by.

In the dark I could still make out Declan's shadow walking toward the other bed. He must have showered because it smelled like the same shampoo and Axe deodorant that his room did. I was so alone and afraid that I almost wished I could just curl up next to him, and feel him protect and hold on to me like he did that day at his apartment. I almost felt that way, but of course I didn't actually feel that way.

Of course not.

* * *

It was still dark, and it was just around 3am. I couldn't sleep, and I had woken up after only a few hours. I wanted to turn the light on, but I didn't want to get out of bed. I still felt alone.

"Declan," I whispered, "are you awake?"

No answer.

"Declan," I said a little louder.

He grunted, rolling over, "Why are you waking me up in the middle of the night?"

"It's just . . . really creepy in here."

He sighed really loud, "Do you want me to turn the light on?"

"Yeah."

He stood up and rubbed his eyes, reaching for and turning on the lamp.

I squinted, my eyes not used to the light.

"Better?" he asked, falling back on the bed, "you're such a princess."

I giggled, "You still did it."

"You're still mean."

"So are you."

He sat up, staring at me. My blanket was wrapped tightly around me, and just my head was showing.

"You look like a sausage," he laughed, "nothing's going to happen to you, there's a bodyguard outside the door, and I'm here in case anyone decides to scale up 20 stories of this building and climb through the window."

I just laughed. I already felt better.

There was a silence, and I could feel an awkward tension.

"Don't take this the wrong way Jenna, you can say no, but do you want to sleep next to me? Would that make you feel safer?"

I thought about it for a second, and nodded, rolling to the side of the bed in my sausage blanket and hopping over to his bed.

"I won't be weird with you or anything," he assured me, scooting over to make room and reaching over me for the lamp.

He rolled over. We were next to each other but not touching. I scooted closer to him, and he jolted a little, obviously surprised. He turned over and put his arm over me, pulling me closer. I found myself putting my head on his chest, and I was so comfortable.

I couldn't believe what I was doing, and I felt like it was right. We just laid there for a few minutes, not saying a word. He wasn't sleeping, and neither was I.

"Declan?" I asked in the silence.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"I'm not really a bitch," I admitted, "I'm not really a horrible person, and I'm not stuck up like I act. I was just trying to fit in with the celebrity lifestyle and Crystal, so I acted like a brat."

"I know," he stated simply.

He continued to hold me through the night, but we didn't sleep. We stayed up the remainder of the night, reminiscing about Degrassi, talking about our families, and talking about our hopes and dreams. Things I don't like to share with just anyone.

* * *

Declan left for Yale the next morning.

His good-bye to me was a smirk and a nod; mine an eye-roll. Just like that he was gone, like the memory of us bonding the night before had never happened.

I stepped out of the hotel to get in the car that was going to bring me back to the tour bus with the others.

The bodyguard was with me, but I was completely mobbed by photographers and reporters.

"Jenna, who was with you at the beach yesterday?"

"Jenna are you dating Declan Coyne? You were seen with Garrett Holloway last night."

"Do you have anything to say to your fans?"

"Jenna! Jenna!"

It should have been a nightmare, but it was like an adrenaline rush as I got into the limo. This was my new life, and I was ready to face it head-on.


End file.
